Yes, as one of Zoe's favorite Spongebob episode script goes, "We're waiting, we're waiting, we're waiting..." for our gift (baby boy) to arrive. We have been waiting for so long and it seems like forever. So far, I don't feel any regular contractions yet and I think my cervix is still closed. It seems that the baby doesn't want to go out yet since I still have to have some kind of closure at work (I've avoided turning over some of my tasks for some reason). Until then, I think, I remain to be pregnant...Hahaha.

Anyway, the baby clothes have been washed already, the hospital papers are ready, our bags are packed and my mind is set to give birth. I've been having vivid dreams already of giving birth which I think signals my innate anticipation to see the baby soon. The only real question is when the baby will come.

Meantime, I plan to keep on walking and make myself busy with the other stuff that needs to be prepared. It's my husband's last week at work so I also plan on being with him by also taking my maternity leave already by next week (that is, if they don't rush me to the hospital within this week). And while on leave, I don't think I'll have much of a chance to surf the net or update this blog. Maybe it will take me a few weeks of adjustment or so. That is why I'm also taking advantage now of looking for an online seller of wonderful anniversary gifts for our upcoming anniversary in October. I read from www.bestoftime.com that they offer lovely Rolex watches that I'm sure my husband will love to have. If only I could afford to buy to now...otherwise, it also might have to wait.

I was alone last night at the waiting area outside my doctor's clinic when it suddenly hit me: I FEEL LIKE I AM MY OWN MOTHER. I found myself sitting there, my hands on top of my belly with fingers intertwined against each other. Yes, it very much felt like I was my mother for I have seen her many times sit that way with the same kind of posture and gesture of the hands.

Unconsciously, there are so many other mannerisms and words I've blurted out that seem to be so similar to how my mother would act and speak. Sometimes, I find myself humming to my little girl at night and then stop suddenly because it seemed as if I was hearing my mother's humming, instead of my own voice. Other times, I would unintentionally say "Tatay" referring to my husband (I don't know if he ever noticed this). But you see, I never call my husband "Tatay" because he has always been "Hunny or Dad" to me and Zoe. It's my mother who would devotedly call my father as "Tatay", not "Benjie", not "Dad". I know, it's crazy.

These are just bits and pieces of the many things that I think I may have "inherited" from my mother. Because of these, I am reminded of her and feel mighty happy that she is mother. I just wish that I had more of her better traits: her simplicity, her order, her generosity, her love for God. If only I could be a little bit more like her and exude even a small bit of her great virtues.

Maybe I'm feeling all of these because she wants her spirit to be felt too. Maybe she wants me to feel that she's still there for me to accompany me in this pregnancy and new stage of motherhood. Or maybe it's simply because I missing her. So much.

As I have been blogging here a few weeks ago, my husband has finally decided to resign from his current job. We thought it would be a very difficult decision but, somehow, God paved the way for him/us to see clearly the right thing to do. Therefore, in the end, resigning did not mean a lose-lose situation but more of a win-win situation for us and for our family.

We realize now that there is more to life than working for that company. There are endless possibilities around that can offer better compensation and a better life for us. Similar to the case of people who want to advance in their jobs, some stop awhile to study, review and get certifications such as becoming a CMAS, my husband now has his hands full learning and re-learning how to nurture his skills further in order to do a more specialized job in the future. And with His help, things are bound to look up.

Sometimes, when you come across a similar crossroad in your life, the tendency really is to panic and lose your trust in the One above. But you know what, I have realized for myself that you do not control your life. It is God who controls it and you only have to pray to him for guidance and direction so that the decisions you make in your life are in consonance with what He wants you to do. And there is only one direction He wants you to take all the time: the right direction. You have to have it clearly in your mind and heart that you always have to do what is right amidst the hardships, even the calumnies and false accusations. And when you do that, God will always be on your side. That's how it works really and I have no doubt that He is and always be on our side as long as it is to Him that we are loyal to and not to any human being who shows even the highest authority here on earth.

Lately, I've been excited over collecting stuffs I need for the birth of the new baby. I also find myself scouring through our cabinets, wanting to put things in order as much as I could. On the internet, I've also grown very excited looking at furniture such as Platform Beds which we need for the room of the kids. Many people call it the nesting instinct for pregnant and soon-to-give-birth mothers like me.

Mysteriously, there seems to be a sudden surge of energy that many pregnant women feel some weeks before they give birth. Some say that this happens in preparation for upcoming labor. I have been reading up on birthing materials and find that many of the things that I have tendency to do and to feel are pretty normal for someone in my stage of pregnancy. I sometimes feel impatient waiting for the baby to come and at the same time, I also want to cherish this pregnancy very much. So where do I put myself really? Can someone tell me?

I'm so grateful for the one day non-working holiday that the government has imposed for August 05, 2009. Apart from the fact that we were able to update ourselves with the current happenings in society (i.e. the death and funeral of the late former President Cory Aquino), we were also able to spend a day for my semi-monthly checkup with the OB (we're awaiting for trial labor!!!). As a plus, we were also able to go to Greenhills for some shopping and bonding with the little girl.

Hay, thank you!

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My husband came to pick me up at the office last Monday night and told me that he gave his notice of resignation at work. It has been something that we have discussing about in the past weeks, even months. I just didn’t know he was going to do it so soon, and when he told me, I had to catch my breath.

He made that decision because of working conditions. They were very, very poor. Actually, I give him a lot of credit for putting up with it for as long as he did. However, for him, enough is enough and so he decided to quit.

With the baby coming soon and the bills endlessly piling up, maybe we do have some reason to be scared. To be honest, I sometimes do get that feeling of uncertainty in my stomach. However, it's not the end of the world ~ not yet and far from it!!! We remain to stay positive. I am proud that he made a firm stand on his morals. And if only for that, he deserves something much, much better.